I enjoy watching movies. It’s true. Instead of protecting the people in Nakatomi Towers myself barefoot, I would much rather watch John McClain do it for me. Or since I won’t be able to take on the Cobra Kai dojo by myself using a few moves that the old guy from ‘Happy Days’ has taught me while doing his housework, I’ll watch Danny do it for me. And let’s be honest, back then Elisabeth Shue was crazy hot and totally worth all the trouble.
Karate Kid Elisabeth Shue = hot.
These days, when I need a movie to entertain my brain, I now use my new friend, redbox.
Now, I used to be a Hollywood Video man because they weren’t as dumb as Blockbuster and would still let me rent films even when that late fee from 1985’s “The Last Dragon” keeps popping up every time I visit the store. When they ask me if I’d like to pay it now, I could simply say “let it ride” and they would do it!
I’ve tried some others too. I dabbled in Netflix for a spell. It’s a great idea and couldn’t be any easier, but I’ve determined that I don’t watch enough movies to warrant the investment. My first year after paying more than $300 for the right to watch and keep “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo” for 74 days, I decided I should look elsewhere for my entertainment options. Especially when I can spend that money on tasty burritos instead.
But then my friendly redbox showed up at my local McDonald’s and I have discovered a proverbial movie renting nirvana. No longer do I need to interact with an annoying human pestering me about, well…anything. I tap the screen a few times and am able to walk out with a new release (new releases available every Tuesday) for roughly the price of air. Because with readily available promotional codes on the Interweb, and the free codes they send to my cell phone every Monday, there’s a veritable free cornucopia going on. They’re giving these movies away! I can select my movie and keep it until 9 p.m. the next night without having to pay a thing. Nothing. A knuckle sandwich. A kick to the BabyMaker. Of course, once I miss the 9 p.m. deadline the next day (practically guaranteed) I get another night’s rental for a buck o nine. But let’s be honest, that’s a price that almost any movie is worth. Even that crappier than crap “Artificial Intelligence” which makes me angry to even type.
Granted, I can’t rent the classic movies of my youth that have inspired me to greatness. If I want to see Clubber Lang come on to Rocky’s wife in “Rocky III” (one of the top movies of all time) I’ll just need to wait for it to show up on TNT. Usually the wait time is approximately twelve minutes.
And if you want to get super crazy, you can also rent a movie at one redbox, and then return it at another. Try doing that at Blockbuster. They’ll be happy to call you to come pick up your movie that you deposited at the wrong store so that you can rectify your own mistake. I’m the customer, boy-o! You fix my mistake for me! Now, I can rent a DVD in Las Vegas and return it in Ogden if I so desire. And I do. Sometimes. So if you haven’t already (and based on the lines on a Friday or Saturday night, you have) meet my new friend redbox, won’t you? And let’s see if we can bankrupt Blockbuster together!